Sunday, October 5, 2008

A PRAYER TO GOD, FOR THE GRACE OF LETTING-GO

Loving God, I give you thanks for having called me
to this great and wonderful adventure called seminary life.
While my heart is filled with joy and my spirit with great excitement
I am slowly discovering that this path I have chosen
asks that I give up many things which have already become part of my life.
And let me be honest with you, I’m not finding it easy at all.
It is not always easy to let go of what I’ve gotten used to, Lord.

It’s difficult to let go of late night outings with my friends instead of studying.
It’s difficult to let go of mornings when I can stay in bed instead of going to prayer.
It’s difficult to let go of the good food I enjoy at home.
It’s difficult to let go of the freedom to go wherever and do whatever I please.
It’s difficult to let go of my friends, especially that girl whom I like so much.
It’s difficult to let go of those moments when I choose to be by myself
instead of having to deal with others in community.
It’s difficult to let go of my biases, prejudices, and ideas that give me comfort and security.
It’s difficult to let go of many more things, old habits really die hard.

This new life scares me at times too.
How do I know all this letting-go will bear fruit?
How do I know that giving up all these things
will result in my becoming happy with the path I have chosen?
How do I know that letting go of my former ambitions and dreams
will really allow me to give my life entirely to you?
How do I know that all this sacrifice will make a good priest out of me?
How do I know that I will not fall later on and cause pain and sorrow to your church?
How do I know that this is your will for me and not something I merely imagine?

Speak, Lord, your servant listens.
Let me put my trust completely in you.
Allow me to see that though the initial stage of my journey
may be dark, difficult, and uncertain,
your presence is more than enough to calm my fears,
to lighten my burden, and to give me the strength and courage
to stick to this path that I have chosen,
in the firm conviction that you who have called and asked me
to let-go of many things that have given comfort and security to my life
will give me in their stead, the greatest consolation there can be:
the knowledge that wherever I go, whatever happens, whomever I become,
you will always be there to love, guide, and protect me.

Amen.

"The Kingdom of Heaven is a condition of the heart." (Friedrich Nietzsche)